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Archive for August 2013

Treading murky water.

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Just feel like writing when I was actually bogged down by fatigue two hours ago.

(Surfing the interwebs does that to you)

Had a conversation(more like getting some prep talk) with a person of the music industry, and he told me this;

‘You can be yourself, you should, in fact, but you’re living with other people, so like it or not you have to compromise. Don’t voice out too much of your negative opinion in your tweets or whatever.’

(Or something like that; my brain is technically a Telefon Rosak game)

I was listening half-arsedly because the things he said is something I already know but refuse to follow because my neurons can barely adapt to absorbing life, let alone dealing with people, but in a way it gave me a wake-up call(mainly because he’s my boss-to-be).

Which reminded me of Yuna way back when she had

It’s hard to keep your critical opinion to yourself sometimes. As a late-bloomer of the rebellious teen era, I can’t help but wanting to be rebellious(read : emotionally ignorant of other’s feelings and down-right blatant) and socially accepted(by that I mean more likes, more retweets, comments saying ‘I totes agree wit u’), both on social media and real life at the most inopportune times.

Well, all the time, really.

But I guess that’s why I started vomiting lyrics in crappy melodies in the first place.

It’s my refusal of speaking straight so that the party involved wouldn’t notice I’m condemning them while sanctioning the masquerading of self-proclaimed provocative thoughts into lousy music that I was absolutely certain no one wants to hear ever again.

So to be straight, and I am by the way, I condemn people all the time.

Now that I’ve put that pen of thought down on this electronic visual paper, it really hit me how much of a pessimistic I am all these while.

Even towards myself.

Especially towards myself.

While toying with the idea of talking trash about people being something legitimately fun, almost as if he read my thoughts, he said,

‘You won’t get anything out of it anyway. Buat tambah dosa je. Kena kat orang lain; kena kat diri sendiri, kan.

It took me quite a while(two hours is a while) to digest what he just burdened me with(I guess that’s where the fatigue came from).

And then I remembered a headline or some article I came across some time ago.

An Iranian film won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film.

And their rules are most probably way stricter than our Lembaga Perfileman Malaysia’s.

So it’s not about conforming to the norm(which will be massacred by me eventually); it’s about treading murky and calm water in a camouflage of neatly-groomed-and-waterproof criticism and condemnation.

Well, well; more rules, more room for creativity.


Written by Takahara Suiko

17 August 2013 at 00:04

Posted in journal